Frank Woodley

...is hilarious. And since tonight is such a joyful, happy night (might have something to do with the fact that exams are over, perhaps) I thought I'd share a tidbit of his comic genius with, er, myself and any stalkers. This is just a short interview that was in Good Weekend; you might have seen it, and I'm probably blatantly disregarding some sort of publication copyright law by reposting it here. Or blatantly disregarding your taste in humour. Well, I think it's funny. XD~

Frank Woodley
Comedian

Your earliest memory is...
my dad holding my wrists and swinging me around in circles. It makes me sad that unless I meet a 12-foot man, I'll never have that experience again.

At school I...
was very successful at spelling bees. Other words I found more difficult.

My first relationship was...
with a girl called Annie. When we had our first kiss, I held her body away from mine because I didn't want her to realise how much my legs were shaking.

I don't like talking about...
the fact that my Commonwealth Bank internet banking password is "avocado".

My most treasured possession is...
my loved ones, although they're not possessions, are they? Except my dog--is a dog a possession? Oh, and my cousin Harry who I keep in a cage.

My mother and father always told me...
you can be anything you want to be, which led to deep disappointment when I said I wanted to be a spider monkey.

I wish I hadn't...
told everyone what my internet banking password is.

My happiest moment was...
when I was saying goodbye to my wife (who was only a friend at the time) and I lingered subtly on our kiss and realised, "Oh my God, she's lingering too."

At home I cook...
meals I enjoy, but which a passer-by would describe as gruel.

My last meal would be...
an all-you-can-eat buffet and I'd chew really, really slowly and stretch it out for 40 or 50 years.

When I was a child I wanted to...
run away and join the circus. Do children who grow up in the circus dream of running away and joining an accounting firm?

Friends say I am...
a saint, a scientific genius, a brilliant raconteur, an incredible god-like physical specimen, and the only person they know who can speak three different languages fluently.

The song I'd like played at my funeral is...
Well, it's not so much a song but a recording of me knocking on the coffin saying, "I don't think this cremation device is safe."

My greatest fear is...
that I'll get overwhelmed by all the suffering and brutality in the world and become cynical. A bit heavy, but you did ask!

If only I could...
work out a single cryptic crossword clue before I die.

The last big belly laugh I had was...
actually, I don't think it's appropriate to laugh at big bellies.

What I don't find amusing is...
real-life bullies. In comedy--hilarious. In real life--not so funny.

If I wasn't me I'd like to be...
a spider monkey, but thinking about it opens up old wounds (see above).

My favourite work of art is...
the huge sculpture of Bunjil the Eagle that overlooks Wurundjeri Way

I often wonder...
what snakes do when they feel like having a bit of a lie down.

*

I wonder if comedians ever feel pressured to be funny the way we feel pressured to pass exams. I suppose they do! *experiences Newton-apple-falling moment of enlightenment*

Anyhow, did I say I finished exams? I finished exams, and now I have a huge, wonderful list of things that I have needed to do for a long time/have wanted to do for a long time (yeah, well, 10 days of SWOTVAC feels like foreverrr).

Checked off for today:
- bought thank-you gifts
- called tuition students and told them they can start coming to my house again because the amount of loose lecture notes/papers/pages torn out of notebooks floating around is no longer at a dangerous level
- watched The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Properly. Now I have to read the book. Properly.
- showered (not that I didn't do that during swotvac...hum de dum...)
- spent money (not on textbooks) and relaxed and had social contact (good heavens) and whatnot =]

I could list other stuff, but I can't be bothered, because I'm going to read Dorian Gray. At last. Suddenly my life has colour again!

dryads and naiads dancing around

In the theme of Narnia and Prince Caspian (sort of), I thought I'd bring up C.S. Lewis. A while ago I read one of his books entitled The Screwtape Letters. It's a satire, a Christian satire, in the form of thirty-one letters from a world-wise old devil named Screwtape to his nephew, Wormwood.

fig. 1. The Screwtape Letters. fig. 2. Prince Caspian. Completely relevant.

In any case, I found the book difficult to get through because it wasn't in story-form. It's nothing like Narnia--no tea parties with goat-footed fauns that look like James McAvoy (I'm tempted to put another picture up--no, I'll resist), no dryads and naiads dancing around. They're just letters, that portray human life with irony and sly wit.

But it was completely worth reading, if only for bits like this:

All mortals tend to turn into the thing they are pretending to be. This is elementary.

This struck me, because:
a) it reminded me strikingly of Sherlock Holmes. ("Elementary, my dear Watson!" Although, did you know, that phrase is actually not found anywhere in Arthur Conan Doyle's famous detective series?)

fig. 3. Sherlock Holmes. Again, this is completely relevant.

and:

b) it made me feel somewhat worried.

Worried? Why?

It got me thinking about the sorts of facades we put up. Consciously or unconsciously, we all act a different way around different people. I even talk differently to different friends. (Yeah, I hate that.) I could be all dramatic and tear my hair and cry out which one is the real me?!

...but I think I'll save that for a later date (:

What does worry me, though, is if I feel comfortable treating my friends rudely and disrespectfully--even though it might be in a light-hearted sense--what if I find myself being mean and cynical more often than I am genuine and nice? I have this distorted perception of myself that I can behave however/say whatever I want and the only thing that really matters is the strength of my inner character. But if your outer self is what people see, what influences your friends and what draws people toward you or pushes them away from you--I suppose that's also important (light and salt, hey). And, according to C.S. Lewis, that's going to change who you are within, as well.

The quote also emphasises the power of our actions. Pretend to be world-wise, and in the end you will be a worldly person.

Ooh, I'm at risk of sounding preachy. I shall end here, I think. Lunch smells good. And perhaps finish off with a passage from the book. I like this.

You will notice that we have got them completely fogged about the meaning of the word 'real'. They tell each other, of some great spiritual experience, 'All that really happened was that you heard some music in a lighted building'; here 'real' means the bare physical facts, separated from the other elements in the experience they actually had. On the other hand, they will also say 'It's all very well discussing that high dive as you sit here in an armchair, but wait till you get up there and see what it's really like': here 'real' is being used in the opposite sense to mean, not the physical facts (which they already know while discussing the matter in armchairs) but the emotional effect those facts will have on a human consciousness. Either application of the word could be defended; but our business is to keep the two going at once so that the emotional value of the word 'real' can be placed now on one side of the account, now on the other, as it happens to suit us.

Tricksters

Now that I look at it properly (in such pretty cyan blue, on a very aesthetically pleasing dotty background), it is a strange name for a blog. Prometheus, fire-bringer! So grand. So pompous. Perhaps it reflects my personality? I hope not. Plus, I am no Greek Titan. Nor am I male, or particularly excited by playing with flammable objects.

The Titans were a race of really quite powerful deities (not giants, as commonly believed, thanks to the word 'titanic') who were supposed to have ruled before the time of the Olympians (Zeus and Aphrodite and the rest of their posse). Prometheus, a son of one of the twelve main Titans, was a rather clever, crafty fellow who became known for stealing fire from Zeus and giving it to the mortals. In other words, he was a bit of a trickster.

fig. 1. Prometheus, wearing a somewhat compromising robe.

Naturally, this made Zeus angry, and this led to a whole series of events such as Zeus sending man the worst thing possible (yes, it was actually the first woman, Pandora, made 'to be an evil to mortal men, with a nature to do evil'...I resent that). And, of course, Prometheus is chained to a rock in the Caucasus where he gets his liver eaten daily by an eagle/vulture. The liver being the only organ in your body that can regenerate itself completely (I think. I should check my lecture notes...).

fig. 2. Prometheus and the eagle. This picture is G-rated, if you have a clean mind.

Mostly, Prometheus is known for his wily intelligence, and his bravery, and rebelliousness. Well, at least, that's what stands out to me. And I've realised: there is something about the trickster archetype that intrigues me (or us? Can I speak for everyone in general?). The person who breaks the rules, who doesn't care what other people think, who may even use their intellect (or other talents) to manipulate others, is fascinating to us. The non-conformist. The hero who steals from the rich and gives to the poor (*hums Robin Hood theme music*). It makes me wonder--what is it about us that makes us so drawn to the whole concept of rebelling?

Humans need rules, structure and routine, or else we would go insane. But there is something tantalising about not following procedure that makes it seem so much more appealing than staying in line. (Otherwise, why would anyone struggle with sin?)

Movies appeal to us because they have heroes who defy societal boundaries to fight for justice/save lives/go on wild car chases that end in glorious explosions. If someone says don't touch we say why not. Rebels are more intriguing than followers. And sadly, procrastination is so, so much more appealing than studying.

And that note brings me abruptly to the end of my spiel. Exams on Monday, and Tuesday, and unfortunately neither one has anything to do with Prometheus =D